i'm a loser, baby

so i went to the salon of shame instead of gloria steinem. i knew i would. i just liked to think that i might decide otherwise. unfortunately, it was a bust. it's usually standing room only and packed with people itching to read. i distinctly recall someone had to be booted off stage last time for going on too long and not giving other people a shot. this time it was the opposite problem. there were exactly two readers, one of whom was yours truly. of course, i am always thrilled to get a shot at the limelight, but would've liked to have more of an actual show.

they were nice enough to give everybody their money back though, so that was cool. i felt bad though because my friend karen had wanted to hear this talk on parallel universes next door at town hall if the g.s. thing didn't pan out. i felt like i led her astray. but at least we had a few laughs, and i had a shirley temple and a little of karen's husband josh's calamari. and i figure if i hadn't been there, they'd have only had one reader and that really would have been sad.

last night i read from my journal about misadventures with various radio djs when i was in high school. so the weirdest thing that happened was this dude came up to me after the show and said, 'tyx' was that 94 tyx? and i'm stunned that someone recognized the radio station, so i say, how did you know? and he says, i'm from mississippi. you must be from jackson, right? and i say, around there, yeah. he says he's from choctaw county somewhere (i've no clue where that is). but he assures me that he doesn't know any of the people i wrote about. of course, i imagine he would have recognized one of the dj's names if i hadn't used initials in my journal, so i'm glad i did.

i figured i'd be anonymous all the way up here in seattle, but lo and behold, who'd have thunk a home boy would be in the audience? made me feel a little paranoid about being so open with my humiliating stories. not enough to stop, mind you, but a little paranoid nonetheless.

conflict of interest

the trouble with seattle is that sometimes there is too much to do here. it will often happen that two events you really want to attend are happening at the same time in different places. what to do? it comes down to a question of preference. which writer do you REALLY want to see? which band do you REALLY want to hear? tonight is a case in point. gloria steinem is speaking at town hall, but just down the road there's a salon of shame going on. now here are the variables: gloria steinem is sold out and my friend karen and i don't have tickets. however, that has never deterred me from going to a show in the past. in seattle, you can usually depend on the kindness of strangers in a sold out situation. people inevitably have extra tickets and they will generally give them to you free if they find out you need one. there's a reason seattle has a reputation for being nice. so anyhow, i figure there's a decent chance we can get in, especially since the tickets were free and there are bound to be no shows. however, there's no telling how many people will have my idea.

but then there's the salon of shame. people read their teenage journal entries, unsent letters, bad poetry, and other embarrasing writing from their youth. it makes for some of the most hilarious entertainment money can buy. and it only costs a buck if you're willing to humilate yourself by sharing your own childhood stupidity, which, of course, i am. (anything to save a few bucks.)

so the perhaps once-in-a-lifetime chance to see the feminist icon gloria steinem or the opportunity to laugh and be laughed at that happens only every couple of months and is so freaking hilarious that i hate to miss a single show.

gloria steinem. salon of shame. am i a feminist? am i a loser who likes to laugh at other losers?

tough choice.

maybe i'll toss a coin.