So I'm at Nordstrom tonight trying to pass the time as I wait for my takeout order from the café when I come across an intriguing book called "The Proust Questionnaire." You must understand that I am facinated with 1. Literary Stuff and 2. Any Kind of Quiz. So...bonanza!
The premise behind the book is that back in the day answering questionnaires was a popular pastime at social gatherings. And someone had the foresight to keep the questionnaires that Marcel Proust answered, first when he was 13 and again at 20.
I must say that this book is way overpriced and not worth buying since more than half of it is the blank questionnaire printed on page after page. Sure, the book is all pretty and stuff, but c'mon, i'm much more likely to email the questionnaire to my friends as opposed to collecting their responses in a book. Seriously.
And, of course, I felt compelled to answer the questions myself, so here goes: (p.s. if you're interested in Proust's answers just consult with mr. google.)
What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
To be unloved, unlovable, and unloving.
Where would you like to live?
I'd like spend a year or so living in various European cities, and should I suddenly become wealthy, I might enjoy living in New York City. But for now I am happy living in Seattle.
What is your idea of earthly happiness?
To spend time each day doing something creative and to stay in close contact with those I love.
To what faults do you feel most indulgent?
Laziness, sweet-toothedness.
Who are your favorite heroes of fiction?
Darl Bundren (As I Lay Dying), Holden Caulfield (Catcher in the Rye), John Ames (Gilead), Ignatius Reilly (Confederacy of Dunces), Max Morden (The Sea). It seems i prefer mostly anti-heroes.
Who are your favorite heroines of fiction?
Rosasharn. At the end of Grapes of Wrath, she performs the most heroic act I can imagine.
Who are your favorite characters in history?
Dorothy Parker, Sylvia Plath, King Solomon. (I suppose I relate to depressive personalities.)
Who are your heroes/heroines in real life?
Suffragettes, 9/11 firefighters and volunteers, civil rights workers, teachers.
Your favorite painter?
Monet, Renoir.
Your favorite musician?
Geoff. (and then bob dylan)
The quality you most admire in a man?
Confidence, integrity, forthrightness, generosity.
The quality you most admire in a woman?
Confidence, integrity, forthrightness, generosity.
Your favorite virtue?
Honesty.
Your favorite occupation?
Reading, writing, listening to music, good conversation.
Who would you have liked to be?
Dorothy Parker, only sober.
Your most marked characteristic?
Spontaneity.
What do you most value in your friends?
Willingness to celebrate my successes, mourn my losses, and make me laugh my ass off.
What is your principle defect?
Impatience.
What to your mind would be the greatest of misfortunes?
To end up regretting not having children.
What would you like to be?
Disciplined, patient, nonjudgmental, more well-traveled and well-read. And, yes, a successful author.
What is your favorite color?
Purple.
What is your favorite flower?
Hydrangeas.
What is your favorite bird?
Are there any that don't squawk?
Who are your favorite prose writers?
Flannery O'Connor, Ellen Gilchrist, John Steinbeck, John Banville, Javier Marias, David Sedaris.
Who are your favorite poets?
Edna St. Vincent Millay, Theodore Roethke, Lucille Clifton, W.D. Snodgrass, Yeats, Shakespeare, Anne Sexton.
What are your favorite names?
The kind that have some sort of personal meaning and don't come from a baby name book.
What is it you most dislike?
Injustice, dishonesty.
What historical figures do you most despise?
Hitler.
What event in military history do you most admire?
The ending of any war.
What reform do you most admire?
The first amendment.
What natural gift would you most like to possess?
Singing ability, musical talent, artistic talent, fast metabolism.
How would you like to die?
Suddenly, before I become infirm or senile, and (selfishly) before my sister.
What is your present state of mind?
Optimistic, yet still burdened with a sense of despair due to my mother's recent death.
What is your motto?
From Shakespeare: "To thine own self be true."
And also (taken from Sally from Peanuts): "Whatever, who cares, and how should I know?"
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Friday, March 2, 2007
finding my voice
my sister calls me up one day and says, "do you know what a totesum is?"
i say, "of course, it's a place like 7-11."
"well," she says, "i mentioned a totesum to shawn and he had no idea what it is."
mississippi strikes again.
now i've never had a very pronounced southern accent. in fact, most folks who aren't from the south couldn't guess i am. mainly, i think, because the rest of the world thinks all southerners go around saying things like "i ain't never done nothin' tew y'all, why'd yeeeew go and do somethin' laaaak that fer?" i can't blame them really. they only know the south from tv, movies, and books, most of which depict all southerners like backwoods hicks. and granted, there are a heckuva lot of backwoods hicks in Mississippi. i just happen not to be one of them.
but my Dixie starts showing around midnight. that's when i'm just far too tired (tarred) to add a "g" to the end of every word. Also, if i have too much to drink, i start drawling all over the place. i also get extremely outgoing and friendly. there are reasons i don't drink anymore (does bailey's in hot cocoa count?). I'm not a friend of bill w's or anything. i just decided to stop because of my migraines (though i must say, it hasn't made any real difference. in fact, i'm having more headaches than ever now, so perhaps i should jump off the wagon. and then again…)
oh, and, of course, i am totally a Dixie chick when i'm on the phone with anyone from back home. people in the room with me can always tell the difference between local and long-distance phone calls.
anyhow, like i said, i'm not normally drawly, so it came as a surprise when my boyfriend called me on my extremely random pronunciation. he says, "say i-n-s-u-r-a-n-c-e."
after i take a few seconds to figure out what the heck he wants me to say (i can hardly ever spell things aloud, which is why i have a hard time around small children), i say, "INsurance." he says, "it's pronounced 'inSURANCE." we argue this for as long as it takes for him to pull up some pronunciation tutorial on the internet and prove me wrong. (although i still think i am right)
and now that he's on a roll, he gets me to say stuff like HALLoween, TEEv, THANKSgiving, and JUly (technically JEWly). He says, "you're always moving the emphasis to the first syllable.
i had never noticed that people around me here in seattle were all pronouncing things in some freakish way, so i called on my southern folks to tell me how THEY pronounce these words. To a person, they all put the emphasis on the first syllable. even a friend of mine who speaks in the most eloquent non-accent, says, "Yes, people always know i'm southern when they hear me say JEWly." so i wasn't wrong. everybody in the south talks this way. just listen to kyra sedgewick on 'the closer."
my boyfriend is also confused when i say things like, "i'm trying to turn on the eye on the stove and it won't work!!!" he's like, "what the hell are you talking about?" "the EYE on the top of the stove…where you put the frying pan!" i say. and he goes, "You mean the BURNER?" "It's not a BURNER; it's the EYE!" i say, as i rush to confirm, via my southern friends, what that thing the frying pan sits on is called. (if al gore hadn't invented the internet, we'd have a tough time proving our points. or at least we wouldn't prove them so quickly.)
anyhow, my boyfriend and i have to agree to disagree on matters such as this since we intend to be together and bickering gets tedious.
BUT my Dixie is rubbing off on him in small ways. see, we have this very demanding cat who always whines for food, even though he's fed at least FIVE times a day. but every time we're in the kitchen or near the kitchen or are in a house that HAS a kitchen, he will holler at us until we relent and give him food. we both agree that he is spoiled. but then i say, "he's not just spoiled; he's RURNT." "he's what?" "RURNT. It's the past tense of ruin when something has absolutely no hope. it's like ruined to the power of 100 or 1000."
"rurnt," he says, "yeah, he's definitely rurnt."
and now he takes great pleasure in calling things "rurnt." And i swear i have heard him say TEEv at least once.
i say, "of course, it's a place like 7-11."
"well," she says, "i mentioned a totesum to shawn and he had no idea what it is."
mississippi strikes again.
now i've never had a very pronounced southern accent. in fact, most folks who aren't from the south couldn't guess i am. mainly, i think, because the rest of the world thinks all southerners go around saying things like "i ain't never done nothin' tew y'all, why'd yeeeew go and do somethin' laaaak that fer?" i can't blame them really. they only know the south from tv, movies, and books, most of which depict all southerners like backwoods hicks. and granted, there are a heckuva lot of backwoods hicks in Mississippi. i just happen not to be one of them.
but my Dixie starts showing around midnight. that's when i'm just far too tired (tarred) to add a "g" to the end of every word. Also, if i have too much to drink, i start drawling all over the place. i also get extremely outgoing and friendly. there are reasons i don't drink anymore (does bailey's in hot cocoa count?). I'm not a friend of bill w's or anything. i just decided to stop because of my migraines (though i must say, it hasn't made any real difference. in fact, i'm having more headaches than ever now, so perhaps i should jump off the wagon. and then again…)
oh, and, of course, i am totally a Dixie chick when i'm on the phone with anyone from back home. people in the room with me can always tell the difference between local and long-distance phone calls.
anyhow, like i said, i'm not normally drawly, so it came as a surprise when my boyfriend called me on my extremely random pronunciation. he says, "say i-n-s-u-r-a-n-c-e."
after i take a few seconds to figure out what the heck he wants me to say (i can hardly ever spell things aloud, which is why i have a hard time around small children), i say, "INsurance." he says, "it's pronounced 'inSURANCE." we argue this for as long as it takes for him to pull up some pronunciation tutorial on the internet and prove me wrong. (although i still think i am right)
and now that he's on a roll, he gets me to say stuff like HALLoween, TEEv, THANKSgiving, and JUly (technically JEWly). He says, "you're always moving the emphasis to the first syllable.
i had never noticed that people around me here in seattle were all pronouncing things in some freakish way, so i called on my southern folks to tell me how THEY pronounce these words. To a person, they all put the emphasis on the first syllable. even a friend of mine who speaks in the most eloquent non-accent, says, "Yes, people always know i'm southern when they hear me say JEWly." so i wasn't wrong. everybody in the south talks this way. just listen to kyra sedgewick on 'the closer."
my boyfriend is also confused when i say things like, "i'm trying to turn on the eye on the stove and it won't work!!!" he's like, "what the hell are you talking about?" "the EYE on the top of the stove…where you put the frying pan!" i say. and he goes, "You mean the BURNER?" "It's not a BURNER; it's the EYE!" i say, as i rush to confirm, via my southern friends, what that thing the frying pan sits on is called. (if al gore hadn't invented the internet, we'd have a tough time proving our points. or at least we wouldn't prove them so quickly.)
anyhow, my boyfriend and i have to agree to disagree on matters such as this since we intend to be together and bickering gets tedious.
BUT my Dixie is rubbing off on him in small ways. see, we have this very demanding cat who always whines for food, even though he's fed at least FIVE times a day. but every time we're in the kitchen or near the kitchen or are in a house that HAS a kitchen, he will holler at us until we relent and give him food. we both agree that he is spoiled. but then i say, "he's not just spoiled; he's RURNT." "he's what?" "RURNT. It's the past tense of ruin when something has absolutely no hope. it's like ruined to the power of 100 or 1000."
"rurnt," he says, "yeah, he's definitely rurnt."
and now he takes great pleasure in calling things "rurnt." And i swear i have heard him say TEEv at least once.
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